It's official I am a terrible blogger. I tell myself everyday, today I am going to figure out this blogging business, and then I find myself hour after hour just reading other peoples blogs instead. Oh how I love this blogging world, now if I could only make myself a part of it. I have a feeling though, once I get the hang on it, it may consume to much of my life. HAHA! So, to the random few who would actually enjoy reading my blog let me fill you in on what has been going on with me.
My baby boy turned 1. It seems that he is learning something new everyday, he is absolutely amazing. And as far as amazing goes, did I mention he is amazingly quick and sneaky all of a sudden? My son, is all boy. I'm talking dirt, bugs, pulling his puppies tail, trucks, smashing things together, growling when large loud trucks go by, oh how did I get so lucky? :) Tell me if this sounds weird... My son was a complete suprise to my husband and I, he was unexpected, and to say the least we were terrified, why had god chosen us to be parents? My pregnancy was a nightmare between morning sickness, hospitalization for "severe morning sickness", IUGD, weekly non-stress test, sudden dangerously high blood pressure, and induction that didn't work, 12 hours of labor, and an emergency C-section... Ahhh! And then there he was, blonde, long, and perfect. The first 3 months were a blur of sleepless nights, constant outfit changes, heating bottles to just the right temperature, SCREAMING car trips... and wow, was it all worth it. I have always been thankful for my son, and I love him to lengths that are unexplainable, but some recent events, have made me hug him just a little tighter when I get home from work. I am no longer frustrated when he wakes up at 3:00am, I no longer sigh when he empties his toy box 30 seconds after I put everything away, I no longer get frustrated when he takes every single shirt out of his dresser drawer and throws it on the ground, I no longer sigh when he unrolls all of the toilet paper and trails it through the house. Yes, I am still teaching him wrong from right, but I am starting to let the little things roll off my back because his is so amazing, and I am so lucky to be a parent. I read these blogs, and pray for people daily, people with children fighting for their lives, woman fighting to conceive, husband and wives fighting to adopt, and here's where it really hit me. My good friend (one of my best & oldest friends) was 9 months pregnant, due to deliver her son April 30th, 2009. She is such an amazing person, and her finace and her were so ready. Crib, bottles, formula, pajamas, baby shower gifts galore. On Tuesday April 21st, 2008 she delivered Ashton Lewis Hart, 7 pounds, 5 ounces, 20 1/2 inches long. Baby Ashton was delivered still, due to a cord accident. My heart keeps breaking over and over. He was so beautiful, and so perfect. Sometimes life just isn't fair. I keep asking myself what lesson god is trying to teach, maybe that life is precious? Maybe they just weren't ready, but I don't think that's the case. I think god had a bigger plan for Ashton, and no matter how much I just don't understand how such bad things happen to such good people, I will continue to have faith, faith that god has a plan, for even the unborn. The past weeks events keep playing over and over in my head. Oh how I couldn't wait to hold on to that little guy, how I wanted our sons to be friends. Ashtons parents are officially my heroes. They are the two strongest people I know. They are holding together so well, and if it were me I think I would just fall. Someday, they will have a family, and be amazing parents. Actually... they already are amazing parents. What hurts me the most if the kind of people my friends are. Morgan comes from a family and a home that always had an open door, and open door to anyone. No matter what kind of situation there family was in, they never showed any kind of negative emotion, they were always smiling, always positive, always just keepin on. I hate to see them hurting, and I just want to take all there pain away. R.I.P little man, we'll be missing you always.
"His Name Is Ashton"
"He Is Still"
"If You Didn't Know"
"You'd Think He Was Sleeping"
"But For The Lack Of A Beating Heart"
"He's A Perfect Baby Boy"
"10 Tiny Fingers, 10 Tiny Toes"
"2 Big Feet, & A Little Button Nose"
"A Sweet Baby Boy"
"Just Still"
Ashton Lewis Hart April 21st, 2009
